A Pina Colada and the PIP-POP Awards

Good morning breakfastpoppers. Today is Tuesday, November 8, 2011. It is time for the 56th presentation of the PIP-POP Awards. This morning we will be preparing a liquid breakfast with a tropical theme. We're having Pina Coladas, so gather together 2 ounces of pineapple juice, 2 ounces of light rum, 1 and 1/2 ounces coconut cream, and a pineapple wedge and maraschino cherry for garnish.

Pour the ingredients into a ice-filled cocktail shaker. Shake well. Pour into a chilled cocktail glass and add your pineapple wedge and cherry. Carry your breakfast to the theater and I'll meet you there.

Welcome "winners" and guests. Our first awardee is the former Mayor of New York City, Rudy Giuliani. Please give him a round of applause that can be heard in the White House and in City Hall, as well. Mr. Giuliani, please accept this PIP award for saying quite openly and honestly that the Occupy Wall Street movement rests squarely on the shoulders of President Obama. We all agree, sir. President Obama started it and he "owns" it. Mayor Bloomberg is just making sure it festers.

Our second presentation of the morning bears the name of the Sunrise, Florida Commissioner, Sheila Alu who had the courage to block a Muslim ceremony from taking place that involves the sacrifice of lambs and goats. Naturally the news did not sit well with the South Florida Council on American-Islamic Relations, but Ms. Alu stuck to her guns and persevered. Ms. Alu, please accept this PIP Award. The "sacrifice" will go on, but it will be in a private venue, out of the public eye.

Let's take a moment to enjoy our breakfast. The show goes downhill from here. Breakfastpoppers, let's welcome Press Secretary, Jay Carney, to the stage. Mr. Carney is here representing President Obama and his administration. This POP bears the name of your boss. He earned it by instructing his attorney to send a letter to Congressional investigators saying that the White House would not cooperate with a subpoena requesting documents related to the Solyndra scandal. So much for the rule of law and the promise of transparency, Mr. Carney.

Our fourth "winner" of the morning is here representing Freddie Mac. Please give this POP Award back to the folks at Freddie Mac for having the audacity to ask for a 6 billion dollar bail-out after losing that exact amount for the July-Sept. quarter. If it were up to the people in this audience you wouldn't get a dime. Why is it that we now reward incompetence?

Our last award of the morning requires that Mr. Jay Carney return to the stage. Please bring this POP Award back to the White House with our compliments. President Obama failed to make the traditional call of congratulations to the St. Louis Cardinals after their World Series victory. We can only conclude that the president has a hard time following in the footsteps of all presidents who came before him who made that call.

The morning's festivities have drawn to a close. I thank you all for attending and making this morning so special. I am raising my "breakfast" in a heartfelt toast to all the breakfastpoppers who are part of my extended family. I am taking to the high seas for a while and can honestly say that I will miss our breakfasts together. I am leaving tomorrow and I will return the Monday after Thanksgiving. Be well and be happy and have a wonderful holiday. Thanks for always being there for me...POP...