Apple Muffin Sandwiches and the Food Police
64Stop Chewing!
Good morning breakfastpoppers. Today is Wednesday, September 14, 2011. School is in session this morning and our topic is "How to Dictate What Kids Eat". Let's prepare some food for our breakfast boxes and then head to class. This morning we will be preparing Apple Muffin Sandwiches. You will need 4 English Muffins, sliced and toasted, 2 tablespoons softened butter, 2 tablespoons apricot preserves, 8 slices of Canadian bacon, 4 slices American cheese and 1 small apple cored and cut into 4 (1/2) inch rings.
Spread each muffin half with butter and preserves. Top bottom half with 2 slices of Canadian bacon, 1 slice of cheese and 1 apple ring. Place the other muffin half on top . Do this three other times, fill your thermos with a Bloody Mary and you are good to go.
Welcome students . Today we will be learning how to usurp parental authority and control what foods our nation's children are allowed to see on television. Food regulators are key to controlling the rights of advertisers. Take notes because what I am about to tell you will serve you well in the future.
It all started with the First Lady telling us that our kids were obese. Now four federal agencies who are known collectively as the Interagency Working Group have devised a plan that will censor food advertisers who have products that the group considers to be too high in sodium, sugar or fat. Never mind what the parents think. The efforts of the "food police" are directed at children between the ages of 2 and 11. Advertisers would lose prime advertising slots on some of our nation's most popular show like Glee, to name just one.
I know this sounds very un-American, but don't let that bother you. Parents just aren't smart enough or responsible enough to know what is best for their kids. The government knows what is best and the government is going to put an end to all those Cheerios commercials. They intend to regulate the populace to distraction until their will is broken and they can no longer think for themselves. Take note of this tactic, it will serve you well in the years ahead. Remember, if you can't get certain laws passed just enact them through government agencies. The American people will be lulled into a state of complacency and all those nasty peanut butter commercials will be wiped off the air.
Forget about the free market. Forget about consumer choice. The government will decide everything for everyone and you, dear students, will lead the way. If someone should remind you that the Institute of Medicine has found nary a link between childhood obesity, advertising and children's food choices, just stick your fingers in your ears and stick out your tongues.
I leave you with this thought. Freedom is relative. For you, the future leaders of America, freedom is the ability to curtail the freedoms of everyone else. Class dismissed...POP...
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Good morning Tom,
With Food Stamps you can purchase Lottery tickets which might make you a millionaire and then the government can knock on your door and take all your money away and your box of Fruit Loops! See you at the Inn. As far as I know there are no food police there.
Hi Pop- Maybe these folks should get a partime job on the side, its sounds like they've got to much time on thier hands!
I think this quote by Ezra taft Benson applies here,
"Most of the major ills of the world have been caused by well-meaning people who ignored the principle of individual freedom, except as applied to themselves, and who were obsessed with fanatical zeal to improve the lot of mankind-in-the-mass through some pet formula of their own....THE HARM DONE BE ORDINARY CRIMINALS, MURDERES, GANGSTERS, AND THIEVES IS NEGLIGIBLE IN COMPARISON WITH THE AGONY INFLICTED UPON HUMAN BEINGS BY THE PROFESSIONAL 'DO-GOODERS', who attempt to set themselves up as gods on earth and who would ruthlessly force their views on all others - with the abiding assurance that the end justifies the means."- Thanks for your terrific insights!-WBA
This is the same group of people who would go nuts if we suggested that folks be neutered so they cannot have children. Socialism or Communism for that matter is so wonderful when it accomplishes the task of circumventing all that America was built on with the whim of a First Lady. The answer to all our woes is to appoint a commission...let them spend money, take trips, and then propose a solution that has nothing to do with the basis of the problem...only the effect. WB
This is an example of the government doing what it does best. That is, screwing up things because it has nothing better to do. We have one more year to have to hear garbage from this administration. A major shot was fired yesterday when a Republican won the little Weiner's congressional seat, a seat that has be democrapic for about 100 years. Hey, Michelle, chew on that! I am off to the bar. I may throw some Fruit Loops in my drink. BARTENDER............
Good morning wba,
Thank you for this absolutely perfect quote. It explains all that ails us these days. See you at the Inn. Would you be willing to do a group reading?
Good morning Wayne,
Why you just explained how our government works in just one sentence. Bravo and see you at the Inn.
Good morning taxlarry,
Finally your typos are deliberate and a whole lot of fun!! "Little Weiner?" I love it. See you at the Inn. Not only am I buying you drinks, I'm buying you dinner!
You know, I clicked "funny" as well as all the other buttons, but this is most definitely NOT funny Pop. More and more - every day, almost every HOUR that passes, our constitutional rights are eroded away. I'm completely uncertain as to why Mr. Obama hasn't been impeached. He's doing the same thing with the EPA - laws Obama has attempted to get through Congress - the very same laws Congress STOPPED Mr. Obama from enacting are now going to be pushed through ANYWAY via the EPA. I don't understand why any sane elected official is ALLOWING this!
Someone wrote in a comments section on my Hub that this administration is applying the "scorched earth" policy and I believe it firmly. They will do anything to get their agenda through - illegally or otherwise. When will SOMEONE begin with impeachment proceedings before it's too late?
Thank you for keeping the spotlight on these liberty stealers! You do your country a great service!
Pop, they just can't accept soldiers to train that have to go to Genny Craig for the 1st year of boot camp. Their number one concern, 50
every time i have watering mouth.great
POP: I am outraged, and this prompts another letter to my Congressman. (I'm getting tired of writing) This is America! If a cereal-maker wants to attract customrs, so be it! When was the last time Michelle was at the grocery store? All the sugar-filled, best tasting cereals are on the bottom two shelves. Why? So the children will want them to eat. The oatmeal is on the top shelf for a reason. So,it's more than TV commercials, Michelle!
I am off to the bar early- need to help the bartender to string Fruit Loops onto toothpicks, as an embellihment for every drink.....
Morning Pop...Although the intent of the guidelines is to combat childhood obesity, foods that are low in calories, fat, and what some consider healthy foods, are also targets, like oatmeal, pretzels, popcorn, nuts, yogurt, wheat bread, bagels, diet drinks, fruit juice, tea, bottled water, milk and sherbet.
I believe we are heading for that Orwellian nightmare called Soylent Green...Slogans like " Have you eaten your Grandma today ? " will proliferate...
See you at the tavern, Pop...Where the only challenge to our palate is taxlarry's faux elk jerky...Larry
Good morning carol,
This president rules by fiat. He has circumvented Congress and the American people every single chance he gets and frankly, he is succeeding. He is tearing this country apart with the unions cheering him on. I too don't understand why impeachment hasn't been raised. For that matter why is Eric Holder still Attorney General? The silence and in action are deafening. See you at the Inn. I'm buying all night.
Good morning 50,
I want the government out of my pantry and off my television and I want that now! See you at the Inn where we are still free to eat and drink whatever we please. I'll save you a seat.
Dear moneycop,
These sandwiches are delicious and kids love them too!
Dear Pino,
Now you've done it! The food police will be arriving at the grocery stores with huge garbage bags sweeping the fruit loops into oblivion! I am off to the store now to stock up on things I want that Michelle doesn't want me to have. See you later at the Inn.
Good morning maven,
Yes, they are targeting Cheerios, you know the cereal that is supposed to be good for you. As for all this garbage via regulation, it does nothing to curtail childhood obesity. Parents should hide their kids electronic devices and give them a ball! See you at the Inn.
Hi POP!
This is one of the many reasons that I decided to home educate my kids. I felt like I didn't even know my kids anymore. I won't elaborate because then I would have written a hub all on it's own. I do feel that government involvement in parents rights to manage their children has gone overboard. Preschool children are educated on what are good choices and bad choices. This is not a new concept.
Sorry it has been so long since I have said anything I couldn't sign in the last few days and then found that they changed their browser settings and I had to download a new one. Save me a spot at the bar I need a margarita.
Well unless they can close down the Super Markets or Police the Isles people will still buy what they want...after all...This is Still America?...Yes, of course it is!
With food prices rising out of control, (despite the fact that the “experts” assure us we DON’T have inflation) we will be forced to eat healthier food – no sugar, no fat, no salt – the less they put in a product, the more it cost (go figure?!).
Since more and more people are falling fast below the poverty line, eating any kind of food will be a luxury and we all know how luxury items are being taxed, so there you have it; more tax revenue and less obesity – PROBLEM SOLVED!
Good morning Tammy,
No question about it, government has intruded itself into our lives and it seems as though they are never satisfied. This trend must be stopped before we end up with cameras in our homes watching our every move. See you at the bar. I'll save you a seat and your margarita will be waiting for you.
Good morning b. Malin.
Is it still America? Sometimes it just doesn't feel that way. See you at the Inn. It may be the last bastion of freedom left on earth.
Good morning Petra,
I have missed you at the breakfast table and it is great to see you here now. You're right starving people tend to be skinny! See you at the bar and we'll catch up.
Hi Poppy,
If there was a "pisses me off" button, I'd be pushing it on every one of your Hubs!
Soooo...what's next after controlling what we see on TV and ultimately controlling what we eat? They've already smashed tons of old cars trying to convince us it was better for the environment. They're gonna force us to buy health insurance whether we can afford it or not. Are they gonna start arranging marriages in America? Giving us all a curfew? Stoning us to death for adultry for just "looking" at another man?
Wait a minute...where am I living again?
Thanks, Pop. You always keep me informed on the important stuff. I quit watching the news years ago 'cause it's too damned depressing. So YOU, my dear, are my only "link" to the mind boggling and very sad world of politics.
Great Hub, as always. (:
See you at the Inn!
*I haven't drank in 17 years 'cause I don't like the taste of alcohol and never even cared for the taste of beer, but this last weekend I tried Bud Light Lime and I loved it! I need another few! Please make sure the bartender has a keg with my name on it. (:
Much love and many hugs, sweetheart,
Diana
Voted UP and 4 'cause I don't think this issue is very funny. Okay...I voted funny too...it was the "nasty peanut butter" that got me giggling. (:
Hi DTroth,
With this administration "what's next" could be just about anything, because it is clear they don't have any limits. Maybe all the supermarkets will turn into government stores and we will show up and get what "they" want us to eat! See you at the Inn. I will save you a seat and have a Bud Light lime waiting for you.
Day-o, Day-ay-ay-o
Daylight come and me wan' go to school
Day, me say day, me say day, me say day
Me say day, me say day-ay-ay-o
Daylight come and me wan' go to school
Michele say we can’t eat no grease
Daylight come and me wan' go to school
Cause it makes me belly increase
Daylight come and me wan' go to school
Come, Madam Michele tally all the calories
Daylight come and me wan' go to school
While my daddy he no longer gets a salary
Daylight come and me wan' go to school
We’ll grow to six foot, seven foot, eight foot more
Daylight come and me wan' go to school
Cause our food packs a whallop for sure
Daylight come and me wan' go to school
Day-o, Day-ay-ay-o
Daylight come and me wan' go to school
Day, me say day, me say day, me say day
Me say day, me say day-ay-ay-o
Daylight come and me wan' go to school
Goodby burgers fries and pop
Daylight come and me wan' go to school
Hide them now here comes the food cop
Daylight come and me wan' go to school
Day, me say day-ay-ay-o
Daylight come and me wan' go to school
Day, me say day, me say day, me say day...
Daylight come and me wan' go to school
Come, Madam Michele tally all the calories
Daylight come and me wan' go home
While my daddy he no longer gets a salary
Daylight come and me wan' go to school
Day-o, day-ay-ay-o
Daylight come and me wan' go to school
Day, me say day, me say day, me say day
Me say day, me say day-ay-ay-o
Daylight come and me wan' go to school
P. Patriot...
Sad, but very funny! Cute. I love it. (:
Thanks DTrot; it is sad what this clown and his Czarina are doing to this couintry!
Dear Patriot,
Bravo!
She took a hundred pounds of lard
And then she said, "hey, listen"
I'm gonna change your world today
Because I know what's missin'
And a brand new world began
She created food police and lots of misery for man!
See you at the Inn. Bring the lyrics and a guitar!
Great job Pop; no wonder you're a level 8!!!!!!!
It is difficult or impossible to legislate or otherwise control human drives for things like food, water, sex, air, etc. - except perhaps in religious applications (fasting, for instance). Yet, someone always tries to over-control these drives in others. Same for alcohol and smoking.
However, I'd like one thing controlled - McDonald's has sprayed sugar on the outside of their French Fries (I was a Store Mgr.) for decades to attract kids' and their longing for sweets. Kids here scream at their parents in the car when they see McDonald's and if the driver does not stop, many of the kids cover the driver's eyes from the back seat. Several traffic accidents have resulted. So, perhaps parents should keep kids away from McD before death rates from traffic accidents increase significantly.
The Inn is not next to McDonald's is it? LOL
OMG - the stuff I learn at your insightful hubs, bp! Do not stop exposing all the lunacy that is going on in D.C. and keep reminding us of the ineptness of Obummy and his mindless minions. Voted up.
Dear Patriot,
Are you sure you are allowed to talk to me?
Dear Patty,
Not to worry, the Inn is no where near a McDonalds. If kids blind their parents with their hands while driving maybe military school is in order. See you at the Inn where we are free to eat what we want.
Dear drbj,
It is so wonderful to be appreciated! I appreciate you right back for coming to the breakfast table!
thanks Pop - it's always good to be reminded that there are others out there in places of authority who are better at thinking than us on things like fast food and health - they know best - we are all just really dumb and just absorb whatever is dished up to us. We can't make our own choices and of course successful food outlets like McDonalds just don't know how to make food healthy even when they do.
Good morning psychicdog,
You're right, we might as well just admit that the nanny state is what is best for us. Let the government tell us what to do and how to do it from the minute we wake in the morning until we lay our collective heads down on the pillow. Sounds like quite the existence!
This is all about the power and scope of government.
Of course the big chains will go along with it. All they have to do is cut portion sizes!
Well, duh!
The government has no business in the food business. We're taking the "nanny" state to another level. Too bad so many Americans are so complacent. Grest Hub - food for thought.
Good morning WillStarr,
The big ugly intrusive arm of government is inserting themselves in our lives in oh so many ways these days. Why don't they just install cameras in our homes and watch us from morning to night? Maybe we will all have to chips inserted in our bodies so they can track our movements more easily. Although this sounds insane, and it is, I wouldn't be surprised to discover a paper written on the subject somewhere in Washington!
Good morning suziecat,
I agree. Tell that to the first Lady, a woman with way too much time on her hands.
The topic has been more than properly covered here, so I guess I'll just have to properly cover my triple order of fries from Mickey Dee's with Double White.
Double White? Oh, that's a layer of processed cane sugar covered with a layer of salt.
YUM!
(*Thanks for the sugar-tip, Patty--I love me some McDonald's but didn't know about that one. SuperSize Me!*)
Tom Whitworth Level 5 Commenter 8 months ago
Pop,
I heard yesterday the this administrations Obismal economic policies has resulted in 1 out of 6 Americans existing now below the poverty line. If we had another Obama abomination (Term) this would go above 50% and Michelle would then dictate what foods could be purchased with food stamps. Food police to the max.