Breakfast Buns and a Fairy Tale
59A Boy and a Pizza
Good morning beloved breakfastpoppers. Today is Fairy Tale Friday, December 30 in the year of our kingdom 2011. Day by day our little kingdom grows more and more sensitive, seeing insults and trouble behind every word spoken and every action taken. Political correctness is the order of the day and the sheer weight of the absurdity of it all is crippling spontaneity. A child in our land is in trouble and I think it important that we discuss the problem and rally around him. His pain is our pain. Let's prepare our usual morning repast and meet by the brook with no water in the forest without trees.
This morn we will be preparing Breakfast Buns. You will need to gather together 1 tablespoon of butter, 1/4 cup finely chopped green bell peppers, 4 large eggs, 1/4 cup milk, 1/4 cup bacon chips, 1 tablespoon minced onion, salt and pepper to taste, 4 hamburger buns and 4 slices of American cheese.
Melt butter in a skillet over med-high heat. Cook bell pepper, stirring frequently, until tender. Reduce heat to low.
Beat eggs and milk in a bowl with a fork. Stir in bacon, onion, salt and pepper. Pour into skillet. Scramble and spoon into buns. Top with cheese. Wrap up the buns and head for our meeting place. I have tons of Bloody Marys to go around.
Thank you all for coming. A ten year old boy, Nicholas, who attends elementary school in Tennessee is in hot water. He has been told that for the rest of the semester he must eat his lunch at the lunchroom's "silent table". His crime is that he allegedly picked up a piece of pizza and waved it around like a gun. Oh, the sheer horror of it all! It seems that our little friend was taking bites of his pizza and a boy across the table from him said that the pizza looked like a gun. Boys being boys, Nicholas started pretend shooting in the air. School officials were alarmed. After all, according to the PC police, if a slice of pizza looks like a gun it is a gun.
Alas, poor Nicholas was reprimanded and forced into isolation at the dreaded "silent table", the elementary school equivalent of solitary confinement. He must also meet with the school resource officer to learn about gun safety. Perhaps it would be more appropriate for the lad to meet with the cooking teacher to learn how to properly eat a pizza. In any case, Nicholas was warned that if he ever ate his pizza into the shape of a gun again he would be suspended.
We must come to this child's aid. He is clearly in the hands of people who have taken PC to levels never seen before. The kingdom is now in the hands of humorless lunatics who possess not an ounce of common sense. For all we know our children are being punished right now because their chicken wings resemble King Teleprompter and the Queen.
Let's finish up our Breakfast Buns. Try to bite them into images of your least favorite people in Congress. Once we are done, let's stage a march on the castle in support of children and their right to eat pizza any way they choose...THE END...POP
A bottle of cheese, a bottle of pepper
Perhaps oregano instead
We'll get a table in the lunchroom
In our old familiar place
Biting our pizza
To look like the teacher's face!
To all my breakfastpopper family: Have a safe and Happy New Year! I won't be in the kitchen on Monday and I will miss you. See you at the PIP-POP Awards on Tuesday.
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Dear Tom,
You, my friend, are smart, funny and priceless.! See you at the Inn and we'll toast to the New Year.
Total absurdity! It is amazing that people can be such a$%holes. Anyway, Sunday is the first day of 2012, the year we have been looking to for 3 years. Remember the Maine, remember the Alamo, remember Pearl Harbor, remember Sept 11 and remember an interview Obumma did on 60 minutes in 2009. He looked at the camera and said that if he could not turn the economy around in three years, he should be a one term president. Let's fulfill his prophecy and vote him out! 2012 is our year! A happy,healthy new year to Breakfastpop and all the breakfastpoppers. I am off to the inn to start the celebrations! INNKEEPER................
Good morning taxlarry,
Here's to a one term president! Thanks for reminding us of his words. I'll meet you at the Inn and we'll toast to a happy and healthy New Year.
A PIP to ya POP! Hope you have a Happy and Prosperous New Year, as for the rest I echo the sentiments above. Happy New Year to all my Hubber Friends! See ya at the Inn I'm buying today! Dusty Bring some Jerky I'm almost out and I have a LRRP mission coming up!
Dear Hmr,
Wishing you a healthy and happy New Year. I'll see you at the Inn later. Let's order pizza and be very un-PC about eating it!
POP: Remember the TV show All in the Family, where Archie Bunker insulted all races, religions, and everything else he could think of? We all laughed, even if we were the ones being picked on with his jokes. How did we evolve to this PC stuff, where everyone feels insulted? St. John's University had to change the name of their sports from the Redmen because the American Indian felt insulted. It goes on and on. You are correct; boys will be boys. The actions of the school's administration should put them at the silent table for lunch. It is alarming! I am going to google this article, and email the school's board of education. I hope you will all do the same. Nicholas should not be punished for 5 or 6 months for something he did not realize he did. Where are his parents? What about the kid who said it looked like a gun?
Anyway, great hubs. Thank you, POP, for keeping us up to date with the important issues of the day. I look forward to a great 2012 (when Obama loses). Happy New Year to All - I'm off to the bar now! See you all there, to toast the New Year. Save me a seat....
Tom's comment is hysterical. I hope you have a wonderful and prosperous New Year.
Morning POP...With all the emphasis on childhood self-esteem now prevalent in education, you would think they would have encouraged this young and budding sculptor with more gastronomical challenges...Food art is all the rage in haute cuisine these days...He could be the next Bobby Flay for all we know...
See you at the tavern, Pop...I'm going to gnaw some of taxlarry's faux elk jerky into the shape of Obama's head and then bite his ears off...Larry
When I heard about this pizza gun thing, at first I thought it was a joke. These people are absolutely insane!!!!!
I need about a dozen shots of tequila!
POP make mine Sausage pizza so I can use the topping for SBD (silent but deadly) Grenades!
The absurdity of this takes my breath away.
Delicious recipe as always. Thanks for share with us. Rated up and Happy New Year!
Prasetio
Hilarious. "He must also meet with the school resource officer to learn about gun safety." Pizza gives me gas, so ...
Imagine this scenario. Little boy loads up on pizza. Little boy meets with school resource officer. As the resource officer lectures on gun safety, the little boy leans to the side occassionally, a somewhat gulty look on his face. Resource officer asks 'What's wrong?'. Little boy says 'My pizza is shooting blanks. Can you tell me about pizza safety?'
Pop, I don't get what kind of people are holding these jobs that would think twice about a pizza gun, given every kid has some kind of gaming station that involves so graphic stuff from what I see on utube.
Well I'm off to the Inn, tell Hammer I got the jerky coming and to all I don't see have a safe and fun New Year!, 50
Good morning Pino,
I was thinking the same thing about Archie Bunker. They would probably throw him in jail for insulting everybody! This is another byproduct of the dumbing down of America. I'll meet you at the Inn and we'll toast the New Year. I want to order pizza and get imaginative in the way I bite it!
Dear Pamela,
Wishing you a happy and healthy New Year!
Dear maven,
What a splendid idea!I think we should have a competition. I'll try something with meatballs and breadsticks! Wishing you and your wife a happy and healthy New Year!
Dear moonstruck,
I'll line up the shots and they are on me. Bring some food that we can sculpt into very un-PC shapes. Wishing you a happy and healthy New Year!
Dear Hmr,
Sausage it is, I'm getting meatballs!
Dear Lynn,
Wishing you abundant breath and a happy and healthy New Year.
Dear Prasetio,
Have a happy and healthy New Year!
Dear FitnezzJim,
Love the scenario you paint, it's hilarious and the resource officer (whatever that is) deserves to be serenaded! See you at the Inn. Have a happy and healthy New Year!
Dear 50,
You make an excellent point. Blowing people up on video games is okay but eating pizza is dangerous. What kind of world are we living in? Have a happy and healthy New Year, Dusty. Let's start it off at the Inn.
One of Karl Marx' ten points was the creation of state run schools, where the children could be indoctrinated. The teachers we now view as loons are actually a generation of indoctrinated leftists themselves, so why are we surprised at their leftist antics?
If we do not take back our schools and run them ourselves (as we used to do, and when they were so successful!), we will see our indoctrinated country continue to move to the left, until we are free no more.
Little Sister With Giant Brain,
The pizza with the thin crispy crust like say, the old Pizza Hut pizza, is very easy to chew into art form. I can chew a "Three Down, One Up" that is very life like. :))
Incredible story and an even more unbelievable reality.
jim
Those breakfast buns would be good anytime of the day. They sound great.
If the pizza in Tennessee looks like a gun, remind me to just have a burger when I travel through there. He didn't even have a food fight, he just pointed his food? I am seriously embarrassed for the school and the cop. My sympathies to the child and I hope those parents take that school on. Sheesh.
Dear Will,
I agree and I am afraid that too many parents are so preoccupied with earning a living that they really have no idea what their children are being taught. Education has been going downhill in this country since 1968! See you at the Inn, Will. We're eating some of our favorite foods into shapes that the government wouldn't approve if. Have a happy and healthy New Year.
Dear Big Bro With Interesting Mind,
Bring the pizza and then tell me what you are talking about! Have a happy and healthy New Year!
Dear Leann,
If it is shaped like a gun but is actually a pizza then it's a gun. So what if it only shoots pepperoni! Apparently, Tennessee has very strict gun and pizza laws.
I am sure I would bite my pizza in all the wrong ways and may accidentally make a shape that offends someone or maybe intentionally make a shape that offends someone. Can you imagine the precedent this will set?
And these folks have college degrees? Perhaps this is more an indication that college degrees don't necessarily make smart people. Stupid is stupid no matter the credentials. I think we should make these "officials" write 1000 times on the chalkboard, "I will come to my senses and not be an idiot."
This is the very reason that folks down at the asylum believe that "insanity is simply a perspective". Given the fantasies of my youth, this bunch would have me locked up a a matter of days for simply acting like a child. America has produced some really sick people who have convinced too many of them that they are highly intelligent when, in actuality, they are bordering on insane. We need to fix this. WB
I don't think its a stupid thing, I think it is a blatant abuse of power. They let it go to there head and then picked on a powerless child cause they didn't like them. Mean is mean no matter the education. The stupidity comes in when authorities stand by that police department.
When I was a teen growing up in Iowa, we used to bring our squirrel guns to school and leave them in the back seat of our cars. Nobody even dreamed of shooting anyone
Today, we would be arrested and sent to prison.
LSWGB,
I spose that was a little vague. My humor can get out there a ways. I was talking about chewing a slice into the shape of the "bird". The old "bleep you" number. However I WILL bring the pizza AND some "Dripping Springs Texas Vodka". "Hand crafted in a copper still from the Texas Hill Country Artesian Spring Water. Made Without Compromise." Sis, this stuff makes "Absolute" taste like vinegar. Man, I DO get off subject. :(
bp - Unbelievable!
Children - do not point your pizza as if it were a rifle.
In Tennessee, this activity is not merely a trifle.
So be very good
As you chew your food
Or the school officials your lunchroom freedom will stifle.
Dear Leann,
Perhaps we need to set a new precedent. We are moving into the realm of complete insanity! See you at the In and have a happy New Year.
Dear Springboard,
I agree, we need to get back to basics. This insane behavior has to stop. If it doesn't our children will be completely screwed up. See you at the Inn to toast the New Year and a return to common sense.
Dear Wayne,
We really need to fix this. There is nothing normal about behavior like this and I am talking, of course, about the school. How much more can we take before we lose it all together? I am at the Inn waiting for you. If you can't make it have a happy and healthy New Year.
Dear Leann,
You are right. Stupid is as stupid does.
Dear Will,
When I was a kid I could strap on my guns and a cow girl hat and have a good time. We are getting dumber by the minute and that is very frightening. Get to the Inn..
Dear Big Bro,
Okay, now I get it and I love it. Bring the good stuff. I am ready to try it. Your seat next to me awaits you..
Dear drbj,
Your poetry is terrific but it does not soften the complete idiocy of the school in Tennessee. Head for the Inn, it's safer there. Happy New Year!
Errrr... Could someone please pass the Botox for my Pelosi buns?
The Frog
Brilliant, I have to give this one an up up and away.
I wish you a very Happy New Year.
Eddy.
Good morning Frog Prince,
They'll be a huge supply of Botox at the Inn. Happy New Year, Frog.
Dear Eiddwen,
Thanks so much for the support. Have a happy and healthy New Year.
Aw Pop, how I have missed u! I have just reccently returned to the hub community and yours was the first page I visited. So glad to see you haven't lost ur touch.
Silly school, silly boy, silly piazza!
Dear rsmallory,
Welcome home! I've missed you . I look forward to sharing the breakfast table with you. Wishing you an happy and healthy New Year!
Happy New Year breakfastpop, the PC brigade has increasingly shown their commie tendencies. The poor boy to be punished for the whole semester? I hope his parents take him out and put him in another school or take the commies to court. Whichever is cheaper.
Pop, the consoling notion I have is that the REAL 1% are the kooks. At least that's what I'm hoping...and that they don't breed.
Hi breakfastpop and Happy New Year to you. I will meet you at the inn and plan to be Very Politically Incorrect with my pizza shape.
Good morning Cassie,
I agree, stupidity like this has to be exposed and dealt with before we have the "chew" police" watching our every bite. Happy New Year
Dear Springboard,
The 1 percent made the NYT crossword puzzle this morning. And just to add to the madness Columbia University is offering a course 'Occupy Wall Street". In order to get credit you have to get out there and join the protests. Talk about kooks!
Good morning Minnetonka Twin,
People like you give me hope! I'll save you a set and order a pie!
Great minds Pops!
I went off about this exact same thing not once but 3 times in Leprechaun Laughs at DragonLaffs.com recently In my 'The Parting Shot' section:
http://dragonlaffs.com/2011/12/07/leprechaun-laugh
http://dragonlaffs.com/2011/12/14/leprechaun-laugh
http://dragonlaffs.com/2011/12/28/leprechaun-laugh
I fear the issue is even worse than you allude to here as from where I stand I see the liberals usurping parental right left and right.
Dear Lethal Leprechaun,
I agree, the issue is very serious because instead of being laughed at and nipped in the bud, it is growing. I will check out your links.
Tom Whitworth Level 5 Commenter 4 months ago
Pop,
Unbelievable!!!!!!!!
Oh well I guess Nicholas is lucky they weren't serving bananas for lunch.
Happy New Year.