Chinois Pancakes and the Observer

Good morning breakfastpoppers. Today is Thursday, January 19, 2012 and Scotty, the Observer, is in town. He is a bit confused about the current state of the campaign for the presidency and he wishes to talk to us about his confusion. Let's prepare some Chinois Pancakes for breakfast this morning and gather at my house where Scotty will be anxiously awaiting your arrival.

For the pancakes you will need 1/4 cup flour, a pinch of salt, 1 large egg, 1 tablespoon sesame oil, 1/2 cup milk, 2 teaspoons minced fresh ginger, 1 minced garlic clove, 1 thinly sliced scallion, 1 teaspoon butter and 6 small scallions cut in half.

In a small bowl combine flour, salt, egg and sesame oil. Whisk in the milk and remove all the lumps. Stir in ginger, garlic and thinly sliced scallion. Heat butter in non-stick crepe pan over medium heat. Add 2 tablespoons batter and swirl the pan to coat the bottom with batter. Cook over high heat until golden brown. Turn the pancake over and brown the other side. Remove from pan, cut in half, place a scallion on each and roll into a cone shape. It's delicious served with plum sauce. Bring the pancakes to my place. I will supply chop sticks and some Grand Marnier.

Hello, my dear earthling friends. Thank you so much for this delicious breakfast. I have been following the race for the presidency quite carefully and I must say I don't understand what these people you call Republicans are doing. I realize that they are battling each other to win the nomination, but is it truly necessary to destroy each other in the process? After all, isn't defeating the incumbent president the whole idea?

I will use this current brouhaha about Mitt Romney and his tax return to explain my position. Did his fellow Republicans just realize that he is indeed a wealthy man? Are these candidates completely ignorant of the tax code and what it allows and mandates? It would appear so.

When Mr. Romney said that his tax rate was probably around 15 percent because most of his income came from investments, I was rather surprised to hear such a collective gasp. Capital gains are taxed at 15 percent because you people try to encourage investment in your nation and the tax code reflects that. Mr. Romney isn't breaking the law, he is abiding by the tax code. A lower capital gains tax encourages investment in your country and fosters job growth. This sudden disingenuous surprise upon hearing about this is absurd and frankly embarrassing. Personally, this alien, thinks this would be a perfect time for Mr. Romney to jump all over the idea of a flat tax. That way all those "rich" people who have fallen out of favor in your free society would be paying what all of you are paying. And another added bonus would be that all those people who are exempt from paying federal taxes would suddenly have some skin in the game.

Yes, Mr. Romney is a very rich man. He got that way because he understands business. Vilifying him for his success is so anti-American that it makes this alien's head spin. Now there seems to be a public outcry for him to release his tax returns. Okay, then, I think all the candidates including Pres. Obama should do so and in the spirit of full disclosure you should ask for their college transcripts and their original birth certificates. as well.

Once that is out of the way, perhaps the electorate will be able to get behind a candidate that they can believe in. That can't happen until everyone in both parties stops behaving like ignorant fools who just fell off a turnip truck. The tax code is the tax code. If you don't like it propose meaningful changes, but don't carry on about people who are just following the law.

Thanks so much for letting me get this off my chest. Please pass the pancakes. NA, NU, NA, NU...SCOTTY... NU, NA, NU, NA...POP...