Cranberry Oatmeal and a Fairy Tale
63Evil Machines!
Good morning beloved breakfastpoppers. Today is Fairy Tale Friday, June 17, in the land of our kingdom 2011. King Teleprompter has issued an order requiring us to gather in the castle courtyard. He plans to address the growing unemployment problem that has weakened our kingdom. Rumor has it that the King has uncovered the source of our problem and for once it isn't the former King. I have a feeling that this is going to be amusing in a bizarre sort of way, so let's prepare our morning meal and head for the castle. Bring a blanket and several dozen raw eggs and tomatoes in case we need to express ourselves after the speech. This morning we will be preparing Cranberry Oatmeal. This recipe makes four nice size servings. You will need 1 and 1/2 cups quick-cooking oatmeal, water or milk as directed on the package, 1 cup dried cranberries, 2 teaspoons brown sugar and some cinnamon. Prepare oatmeal according to directions, add cranberries and brown sugar, place in serving bowls and garnish with some cinnamon. It's a real simple recipe, but I think you will enjoy it. Just in case you don't, I will be providing enough Bloody Marys to make you all very happy campers. See you at the castle.
The King is about to speak and a hush descends upon the land. Welcome, one and all. These have been very trying times for all of us. As you all know I inherited a host of problems from the former King. Our economy is improving but not at the rate I would like. I now know the reason for the poor jobs outlook. The blame falls squarely on the shoulders of the Automated Teller Machine industry. These fools have invented a machine that dispenses gold pieces whether the bank is open or closed. Now I know that many of you find this service to be a convenience but you must understand that for every machine in our kingdom, at least 1,000 tellers are left without work. The ATM is to blame for all of our problems and I have ordered the palace henchmen to destroy them. You will see that once the destruction is complete the job numbers will improve. Banks will now have to hire more tellers to give you your money. You will have to wait on long lines and your backs will begin to ache. Your aching bones will cause you to visit your doctor and his business will improve. The doctor will prescribe medicine and you will have to go to the pharmacy to get the pills. If you need physical therapy then more therapists will be needed and the jobs outlook will improve once more. Every time the physical therapist applies ice to your back, the ice man will make a few coins and probably have to hire more workers. When you need money and the bank is closed you will probably lose your temper or your mind and the economy will get some help again. Whether you go to anger management school or a mental health clinic, the increased demand for mental health workers will kick start the economy.
So, my loyal subjects, as you can see it's all good, it's all good. Please show your support of the wonderful job I am doing by standing and raising your voices in a loud and heartfelt thank you.
Proud and frustrated citizens of the Kingdom of Dem launch your tomatoes and eggs. It's okay, we're helping the economy. The King will need new clothes which means he'll need more tailors. The tailors will need more silk and the silk worms will be spinning like mad and on and on it goes and it's oh so good...POP
The machines come in
The machines go out
They eat your jobs
And they throw you out....
The End.
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Good morning Tom,
I never thought of that, but I can see that you are right. I'll be right back, I need more tomatoes and eggs! See you at the Inn.
The king really is a slug. I thought the firing of eggs and tomatoes was a good idea. It helped me forget the picture of Michele's big butt getting into a helicopter while wearing a thong. Boy, this really is a fairy tale. To the inn! INNKEEPER................
Good morning taxlarry,
In order to rid your psyche of that thong image you must go into therapy or be hypnotized. Bring cash! The economy needs stimulating. See you at the Inn.
POP, I heard this also and though how stupid! There is not even much to be said about a comment that is so ridiculous. My aim is better than usual this morning as I threw a tomato that hit right in his pie hole!
See you at the inn.
Good morning Pamela,
Way to go! You hit one out of the castle courtyard. See you at the Inn. Drinks are on me and there won't be a tomato or egg in sight!
Pop, the freak is in the government stash of LSD again, what a trip he must be on.oooooooooooooh looky fingers, 50
Good morning 50,
Oh, now that makes sense! See you later at the Inn.
Morning POP...Right out of the Luddites handbook: Machines take jobs from the laboring classes. Farm machinery and automated factories are oppressive tools of the Capitalist pig dogs.
To save their longshoreman jobs, the unions prevented the Port of San Francisco from modernizing the equipment to unload container ships. So all the wharfs shut down and moved across the Bay to Oakland where they installed the latest and most efficient freight-handling equipment. This increased efficiency not only captured the former traffic handled by SF, but quadrupled inbound and outbound containership services, meaning more jobs...
The stupidity of this president is astonishing...The fact that Americans elected such an empty suit is equally astonishing, and sad...the old adage that you can fool some of the people all the time, etc... certainly was true in Nov 2008...
See you at the tavern, Pop...Obama is supposed to address the economy tonite...I wonder if he will corrupt Reagan's call for Gorbachev to " tear down that wall " with Obama telling banks to " tear down that ATM "...Larry
POP: I cannot believe that Obama was sincere when he made this comment about ATM's, which have been around for years, not just since 2008.
I never use ATM machines. I don't know if that makes me part of the problem or part of the solution. Are we too large a country to organize against this administration?
I need a drink - I'll see you at the Inn - someone, please save me a seat.....
I heard this and was astounded that he would try to use such a flimsy excuse!
BPOP - 4 Stars to you. I will include a graphic if you care to use it. Next he'll be making mouse traps the Boogie Man. Unfair that they have put so many mice totally out of business.
Great job of capturing hypocrisy.
http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRRrLu-gDJ
The Frog
BPOP - you are so entertaining!
I think I have about a dozen eggs to spare - maybe a few tomatoes to spare - but the economy is so bad - I'll only hurl the rotten ones:)
Good morning, POP. Delicious recipes from you. I had never heard about Cranberry Oatmeal. This is new for me. Well done, my friend. Rated uo!
Prasetio
Pop
This is unusual; normally as I read your first line my commentary immediately starts flowing like a river but this is so absurd I have to admit I’m speechless or at the very least wordless! This time our Idiot and Chief has surpassed even his previous level of absurdity. Blaming ATM’s; what’s next Tractors, Road Graders, Combines, Diesel Engines and so on and so on and Scooby Dobie Dobie! What and Idiot and better still what a collection of Idiots that buy into this!
Good afternoon maven,
This whole thing would be funny if we didn't actually have a president who believes ATM machines and self check-out in stores is a bad thing. I can't imagine what Obama can say about the economy. Perhaps he'll just get up there and say that the economy stinks and George Bush along with all technology is to blame. See you at the Inn. The ATM is gone from the lobby. I shot it last night.
Dear Pino,
If he believes what he said than he is a fool and if he said it to be funny, he's also a fool. See you at the Inn. I'll be a little late. I have to stop at an ATM for some cash so I can buy everyone drinks.
Dear WillStar,
Look everyone alive or inanimate is to blame for everything. Obama just inherited a mess that can't be fixed. I walked by an ATM last night and I kicked it. See you at the Inn.
Dear Frog Prince,
The mouse trap put the exterminator out of business! See you at the Inn. We have to keep our favorite bartenders employed.
Dear RealHousewife,
Good idea, only launch the rotten ones. Make an omelette with the good ones! See you a the Inn. Bring the omelette.
Dear prasetio,
It's great to see you at the breakfast table. Cranberries are delicious in and on just about anything and they are very healthy.
Dear patriot,
Gee, I thought you would go wild with this one! See you at the Inn. There is an ATM in the lobby. Why not kick it when you go by.
A leader who believes that ATMs and self-service checkouts are the cause of our pathetic economy? How can you call him a slug? A slug has a bit of a brain!
Pop, there is serious concern on the lack of jobs. I read an article on the Wall Street and I posted it on my blog site. Since Obama took over, 44 states now have a higher percentage of unemployment, far worse then we were under Bush. He promised change but the change is in the wrong direction.
Doesn't the Blame Game get OLD after awhile, Mr. President. People need jobs. This President made this his Platform when he Ran for Office. And his Analogy of ATM's and Kiosks is to ridiculous to Comment on. Always a Good Hub from you, Breakfastpops.
Is this man for real? I guess blaming the poor economy on what he "inherited" from Bush has run out of gas. For now he has to turn to poor little defenseless machines? What the f&%k is that about? Do you see him grasping at the straws??? It is yet another example of just how poorly prepared this man is for this job and I guess that goes for all the yahoos surrounding him. So the economy's turnaround will be based an overwhelming crush of bank teller and supermarket checkout jobs? Puleeze. I love the self checkout because then I don't have to deal with those surly disgruntled humans that hate their jobs... Hey, how about really investing in wind and solar energy, how about fixing Social Security and Medicare, hey how about solving the illegal immigration problem, oh, and hey, stop printing money to give countries that will be pummeling us in the not too distant future. Leave my drive thru ATM alone....
Good morning drbj,
Our "leader" is on the golf course this morning with Boehner, Biden and someone I can't remember. Once the game is over, I am quite sure all our problems will be solved.
Good morning thelyricwriter,
The problem continues because the thinking of this administration is skewed in the wrong direction. Big government and hand-out are not the solution,, but rather the problem. Lower taxes and less regulation will encourage business to start hiring. Democrats simply don't think that way.
Good Morning b. Malin,
Someone must have advised the president to spread the bame a bit. ATMs were as good a target as any, I suppose. Pathetic!
Good morning jellio,
Great comments and observations. What's next the Internet? Al Gore will be so bummed out don't you think?
Good hub thank you for sharing :))
Dear Leptirela,
Thanks for coming to breakfast!
POP, I thought this was written "tongue-in-cheek", not realizing Obama ever uttered such a preposterous idea as blaming ATM's for the unemployment catastrophe. Seriously? The blame game has hit an all time low. And, how insulting a blow is that to the American public? Our leader would have to consider us idiots to even entertain an idea to that degree of ludicrous. Seriously? POP, tell me it ain't so.
I can fully believe that the O-Man would love nothing more than seeing us get our meager sheckles from the hand of the Mullah hidden deeply in the shadows of a dark cave...progress comes in many forms and perspectives. Never let it be said that the O-Man is not progressive in his intent...progressive towards what mean? is the question. WB
Little Sister With Giant Brain, How ..
This is fine piece of work. Me like.
The great White Chief has vision. Can see many things. Things no one else can see. Me think he smoke from giant bowl filled with powerful spirits. Make vision very different. He smoke too much from the giant bowl. Now see crazy things. Is time for him to go. Vote up, uselful, and awesome. Little Sister now go read my latest. Man With No Pants know pimping no good, but do it anyway. Peace my sister!
jim
Truly a scary scene. I saved my last few throwing tomatoes for a couple more Bloody Mary's. I'm gonna need em. Then I can "recycle" them and flush 'em down the toilet with the ATM's and the rest of our country, cuz that's where we're headed, swirling around the rim.
I love your style poppy. You have quite a brain...quite a brain.
Happy Father's Day, Pop. Thank you for taking such good care of all us little Hubbers. You are much loved and appreciated. (:
May peace be in your heart...always,
Diana
Dear Amy,
I'm sorry, it's so...Self check outs are also to blame and yes Obama said that too.
Dear Wayne,
Looking at things that way makes me realize that Obama is succeeding in terms of his own personal agenda. None of what Americans are going through remotely touches or affects him, but he is probably satisfied with the change he has brought.
Dear Big Bro With No pants,
We must perform the "Go Back to Chicago Dance" when the moon is full. Wear your feathers.
Dear DTroth,
Thanks so much. I like your brain too! One thing, I celebrate Mother's Day!
Tom Whitworth Level 5 Commenter 11 months ago
Pop,
I heard the King espouse this view the other day and I thought to myself he is truly an evil slug. He has taken to making up Fairy Tales to try and take your Friday job!!!!
I'm glad you are defending yourself!!!!!!!