Graham Nuts and the Observer

Good morning breakfastpoppers. Today is Thursday, December 29, 2011. Scotty, the Observer, has just returned from a fact finding mission along the U.S.-Mexico border. He is a little worked up at the moment about what he discovered and he has asked us to join him at my place. He is craving some homemade cereal this morning, so let's prepare some Graham Nuts. You will need 3 and 1/2 cups graham flour, 1 cup brown sugar, 1 teaspoon baking soda, 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon, 2 cups buttermilk, 2 teaspoons vanilla extract and 1 teaspoon salt.

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees. Lightly grease a 12 X 16 inch flat baking pan. In a large bowl, combine flour, brown sugar, salt, baking soda and cinnamon.

Add the buttermilk and vanilla and stir well. Pour into the baking pan and spread evenly with a spatula. Bake for 20-25 minutes or until the batter is firm and medium brown. Using the spatula, loosen the cereal from the pan and allow to cool.

Once cooled, preheat your oven to 275 degrees and break cereal into chunks and place in a food processor. Pulse until coarse crumbs are formed. Divide crumbs into 2 (12 x 16 inch) pans and bake for 30 minutes, stirring every 10 minutes. Serve with milk and brown sugar.

By now you must be completely exhausted. Just bring the cereal and I'll thank you by supplying you with any liquid breakfast you want. In fact, why not just come in your pajamas and be comfortable.

Hello, my beloved earthling friends. It has come to my attention that U.S. Customs and Border Protection, a division of the Department of Homeland Security has spent $9.8 million to store $44 million of steel that it purchased but did not use. It was supposed to be used to build fencing along the U.S.-Mexico border. Now from what I can observe, you people really need all the protection you can get. Why is this steel just laying around? We are talking about 27,000 tons of extra steel that could and should be used to extend the fencing that your Congress mandated along your southwest border.

Money doesn't grow on trees on your planet, so how can your government explain the waste? According to the Inspector General, Customs and Border Protection purchased more steel than they needed, wasted money on storage costs, paid interest on late payments, approved a high-priced contractor and in general, blew the whole project. Congress required the CBP to fence about 650 miles of the 2,000 mile long U.S.-Mexico border.

Nobody wastes money better than your government. If you are going to build a fence, and you should, then build it. Don't build part of it. Don't let fools run the show. Where is the oversight? Where is the follow through? Your nation isn't in the best fiscal shape. Tell Congress to look into all the waste that is rampant in your country and tell them to go all out to eliminate it. You, the people, should take a good hard look at Congress and eliminate those that see themselves as serving for life with no accountability. Enough is enough! NA, NU, NA, NU...SCOTTY... NU, NA, NU, NA...POP...