The Drink and The POP Awards

Good morning breakfastpoppers. Today is Tuesday, September 29, 2009 and once again it is time for the POP Awards. As is our custom, let's prepare a liquid breakfast that we can take to the ceremony. I think you will enjoy our breakfast selection today. It is supposed to taste like French Toast! The recipe is quite simple. Head for the liquor cabinet and measure out 1/3 cup Bailey's Irish Cream, 1/3 cup Cinnamon Schnapps and 1/3 cup Butterscotch Schnapps. Mix all ingredients and your ready to face the morning and celebrate this week's "winners". Let's go.

Welcome everyone to the seventh weekly presentation of the POPS. Without further adieu, will Mr. Michael Moore please come on down and step right up to the stage. Mr. Moore we congratulate you on the release of your newest documentary, Capitalism: A Love Story. The film exposes the vulgar inequality of wealth in this country, showing us first hand how Americans are suffering in this economy. It is our understanding that you and your fellow premiere guests were treated to a lavish party at the Esquire Penthouse following the showing. Wow, the penthouse is reported to be quite extravagant, replete with sumptuous and lavish food, hot tub, $120,000 pool table and home theater. You appeared to be enjoying yourself immensely. Take your POP and slink back to your seat. You speaketh with forked tongue, my insincere friend.

Our next winner is The House Judiciary Chairman, John Conyers. Please come to the stage and receive your POP. You've certainly earned this Congressman for your request that congressional researchers investigate whether any laws were broken by the two young people who courageously taped Acorn employees. How interesting that your first response was to protect Acorn's illegal activities. Are you sure you are on the right committee? In any case, please accept this award on behalf of all the taxpayers who unknowingly contributed money to a corrupt organization.

Will Cindy Sheehan, please come on down and step up to the podium? Ms. Sheehan, first I would like to say on behalf of everyone in attendance that we are sorry for the loss of your son in Iraq in 2004. Having expressed our condolences, I would like to further inform you that George Bush is no longer President. President Obama is now in the White House. I guess you've been too busy to notice. Well Ms. Sheehan, holding a protest outside the former President's home in Dallas hardly seems appropriate. The war is still raging and thus far our new President has done very little about it. Please accept the POP in recognition of your one track mind. At least you know you don't suffer from AADD.

Will a representative of the Department of Veterans Affairs please step up to the podium? Please accept this POP on behalf of all the veterans who bravely served in our military after Sept. 10, 2001 and who have yet to receive money promised to them to provide for school tuition, housing and books. Another splendid example of our government in action. Take your award and get back to work processing that money. These soldiers who fought so hard for us deserve better treatment from the government.

Our last winner is a bit unusual. Will Gwen Thompson, the newest American Girl Doll please have someone from Mattell carry you to the podium? Well, Gwen you have quite an interesting background story. The people at American Girl thought it fitting to create a homeless doll, and Gwen you now hold that distinction. It seems that your daddy walked out on your family and your mommy lost her job. As the weather grew colder, you lost your home and were forced to live in a car. How sad, how incredibly sad. For reasons only a shrink can figure out, Mattell thought it a great idea to create Gwen and sell her for a mere $95 dollars. What an interesting gift to give your little girl. A present that is really a nasty social and political statement, meant to instill fear in young children. After all, if Gwen's daddy can leave and if mommy is helpless, how safe am I? Mattell and Gwen, please take your award and sit down. What's next , a Republican doll denying healthcare to the little Democrat dolls?

Well, breakfastpoppers, this has been a very interesting awards ceremony. Let's lift our drinks and propose a toast to all the "winners"...Until we meet again...POP...